October 9, 2007

More babies palaver

E gbami o,i don come again with my drama.My husband is blackmailing me to have two more kids,failure of which he will be force to take another wife.I have more than enough to deal with-the pressure of running a home without a maid and combining that with the strenuous banking job and come to think of it,my health.Two of my kids came naturally while the other two through section and how can i subject myself to that again and age is not really on my side.I dont know but its better to be alive than dead in the quest of having sole custody of the man department,i beg i no fit.I love my life and will rather be alive to take care of my kids than worry myself over who go come deny me or share from my entitlement.What can i do?

17 comments:

Belle said...

who in this day and age wants more than 3 kids?!!
your husband is... wow!

Bubbles said...

Please, you need to do what is best for your health. 2 more kids? Why?

I know a woman who was in her 40's and she didn't have a son. She had 3 daughters. Her husband threatened her that if she didn't have another baby he would marry another wife. That's how she carried herself and got pregnant even when people advised against it.

Guess what? She had a boy, but she died. The worst thing is that the guy married again in 3 months.
So what did this poor woman lose her life for? Nothing, if u ask me. So please, you have to be mindful of your health. You want to be around to take care of the children you already have.

Anonymous said...

what i think (if u'll permit me to say it) is wether you get pregnant again or not he'll probably get a 2nd wife,my advice is do what u feel is best for u and ur children. be alive to take care of them

douby said...

i think your husband is trying to frustrate you out of your marriage. my sister please lookout for yourself and your children.
i've heard of a case where a woman lost her life and the life of her poor baby due to similar demands. and today? her to kids have a "loving stepmother"

Sherri said...

don't worry my sister!
stay calm this too shall pass.

have u tried having a meaningful dialogue?
what is the reason for more kids?

anywho, this is ur chance to get unlimited congo shining. lol

Anonymous said...

my dia,please dnt compromise your health o.
try the "soft answer,turns away wrath"method,pray and leave the rest to God.
this is the time to focus on maintaining a good health,sound soul and spirit.

Anonymous said...

pls, my dear this is the time to be close to God than you've ever bin. as a born again, there is power in your words, spend time each day just declaring what you want to see in your life. if you dont want another woman in ur house, get talking!!! ur words can change ur husbands mind believe u me! All the best lady

anijawife said...

Thanks you all,me go just dey post the man,na me get my body and i no what i want and for God,6 kids with the situation of our economy and with a man that cant boil water.Dialogue is not working but iam on my knee sha talking to my God.

Anonymous said...

Naijawife it is "victim" anon again.
Judging by what i know so far about your husband (which is not much),i do not think you should have more babies. the fact that you have more babies will not keep him from having an affair and bringing another woman's child home. If this is not his excuse, he will find another one.
I also find it disturbing that he actually told you if you do not do this he will marry another wife. Do men in Naija still talk/act like this? It is not as if you are a housewife totally dependent on him.
My mother's biz neighbour had 8 boys and when she was going to give birth to the 9th child, her otherwise 'good' husband actually said,"if na another boy no come back" guess what, she had a girl and i assumed in my 10 year old mind that she would stop, but no she had another girl. Mind you at this time her eldest was under/about 18, her husband passed on a couple of monthes after and she was left to hold the pieces. She sold eggs and her husband worked in an oil servicing co at the time and he could keep his family at an upper low class level. Now imagine if those resources had been used for 2,3 or 4 kids.
I am a bit upset with you for still putting up with this man but my sister puts up with her hubby's 'craziness' so...
All i can say is, this too shall pass.

Refinedone said...

This sounds like a man that has another agender, he is educated enough to know what 2 more children at your age will do to you and with you pass history...
I think in marriage there has to come a time when husband and wife get real with one another.. be able to talk and be totally honest with one another (no matter how hurtful what is said)
It is time for both of you to sit and really talk!
He should tell you what he wants from you and this marriage..He should let you know if he is still in love with you andwants to work at a better relationship and vice versa.

life is to short to be living an unhappy one.
...sometimes it has to first get bad to get better...I pray Godgives you the rigth words andtouches your husband's heart.

I know God as a RESTORER and a God of making the impossible POSSIBLE!!

omo-obanta said...

I don't know that much i will be the first to admit but your children don't need to lose their mother because of a new baby. I almost lost mine for this reason(when I was too young to know about it but still)

Be strong. 4 kids is plenty in any world except the old.

Bola said...

I think a word is enough for the wise.Pls be wise because if you die as a result of this,even your creator will blame you.my xtain sister just lost her life bcos she was given the same ultimatum,give me a girl or else...........she got the baby girl,but at the expense of her life,unfortunately in her own case,she was the breadwinner of the home,I cried becos,she was at the peak of her career and she left behind 3kids from a previously deceased husband.In all she left 6children including the new born.

LASGIDI/ NY said...

I am sorry to have to say this but i think another woman might be pregnant for him already and it is an excuse cos he knows u won't agree to having more kids, becos from reading ur blog it isn't as if u guys need a son or daughter, i think the equation is complete. Honestly this is time to really talk to God and tell him that he that has given u this man didn't add sorrow to it , I trust u know the rest.

Iyaeto said...

ah omo meji si ke? You have more than enough as it is. Your health and life is very important o. I've got 2 and no more. As soon as I gave birth (twins), my hubby begged me not to have any more kids.His reason was that women suffer a lot at child birth. I beg madam enjoy your life o.Don't let any man push you.

LittleGirlLost said...

& this man is your husband? Tell him to go ahead and get a second wife if he wants to see what will happen. Stand up for yourself woman!

If he does even attempt to do this then he does not love you. It may be time to start facing the truth about this person you married.

Waffarian said...

I have not been here for a while, na wa oh! you mean that man is still at it? Tufiakwa!

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

Like Waffy, I have been absent for a while. My sista, I cannot add to the comments. They are very good. All I can say is God's blessings upon you and your family. May he guide you to make the best decision for your children and yourself. Because, a decision has to be made.