A Nijawife

True or false?


LOL!!!!!!!!


IBO HUSBAND

Plus

1. He is very loyal

2. He maintains monogamy

3. Could be very yielding/gullible

4. Gives you access to all his assets

5. Follows your advice and directions to the letter

6. Spends money on you for comfort, good looks and happiness

7. Takes care of your kids

Minus

1.. Could be very unromantic-Romance is limited to spending money, spending money and spending money

2. May be semi-literate or illiterate.

3. May marry you early and deny you of access to life/youth.

4. More likely to be crude and unrefined

5. Always has a large family to cater to and take care of plus apprentices etc

6. May not be presentable

7. May be horrible in bed and/or sexually illiterate/unwilling to explore.

8. Could be gullible/easy to deceive


YORUBA HUSBAND

Plus

1. Could be very romantic.

2. Could be caring

3. Tries to maintain leadership in the home.

4.. Disciplines kids well

5. More white-collar career inclined

6. Literacy level is usually high

Minus

1. More likely to philander

2. More likely to eventually marry another wife

3. More likely to marry you for your money/connections.

4. Could be highly assertive..

5. Most times you would take care of yourself after a while.

6. You may eventually separate with nothing to show for it.

7. Family members may be given priority.


EDO HUSBAND

Plus


1. Believes in marriage

2. Takes care of you and your needs.

Minus

1.. May end up not taking full care of the kids

2. Could be very harsh

3. Does not take any nonsense

4. You may end up taking care of him

5. You cant cheat on him.

URHOBO MAN

Plus


1. Believes in marriage

2. Takes care of you and your needs.

Minus

1. You may end up taking care of him

2. You cant cheat on him.



EFIK MAN

Plus

1. Will effectively take care of the culinary activities in your absence.

2. Is usually very religious

3. Hardworking

4. Good in bed

5. Quite organised and clean.

Minus

1.. Be prepared to have 12 kids

2. Your cooking may not be good enough

3. He will either be very ugly or very handsome. no line between. He will also either be very short or very tall. Same with your kids

4. Prepare to have a husband like 25 years older than you in his fifties.


HAUSA MAN

Plus
1. Hardly believes in premarital sex.

2. Very religious

3. Takes care of you


Minus

1. You may be wife number 4

2. You may be wife number 4 at 14

3. You have absolutely no say in anything, anywhere and anytime.

4. If he passes away, you may be transferred to another family.


Different kinds of Nigerian wives


the urhobo wife
PLUS

1 always loyal/faithfully(cheating is outright abomination)

2 very hardworking and self reliant

3 very good cook(banga soup,owo,peppersoup,sea food specials

4 can persevere even in poverty conditions

5 accommodating if a second wife shows up

6 what u see is what u get kind of attitude

7 would lay down their life for their children

MINUS

1 agruementative

2 stubborn

3 alcholic tendencies

4 some level of gra- gra

5 very very very vocal


YORUBA WIFE

Plus

1. Very respectful to husband

2. Very respectful to in-laws

3. Most times educated

4. Yielding and submissive

5. Likes sex.


Minus

1.. Would most likely have had one kid for another man before you and after you.

2. Will most likely cheat at 65% with one Uncle or Oga at office.

3. Possibly give you another man's kid in between your kids

4. Tells her mother or sisters or friends everything.

5. May jazz you up.

6. Will fill you with pepper, palm oil, assorted and amala.

7. Probably will marry another man even if you split at 60 years of age.

8. If she makes more money than you, or you make less her, the uncles will finally start to drop her off in front of the house with a peck.


IBO WIFE

Plus

1. Loyal to her husband

2. Gives kids good nourishing food with vegetables and many spices.

3. Is very clean.

4. Is ready to fight anybody alongside her husband and break their head or even fight while the husband watches.

5. Even if her husband leaves her at 30, she has only a 3% chance of remarrying after kids.


Minus
1. Very disrespectful to everyone including you.

2. After breaking the neighbours' head will one day break yours.

3. Only regards you as a man if you have money.

4. Views love as spending power.

5. May not really love you but will marry you because you are ready and her real lover isn't.

6. Will spend every dime of yours without touching hers

7. Does not tolerate your inlaws and disrespects them.

8. May stop shagging you after 35.

9. If she makes more money than you, or you make less her, she will become VERY insubmissive and her family will finally remember what a useless in-law you are.

10. When there is a fight, her brothers will come and join to break your head.


EDO WIFE

Plus

1. Cannot cheat on you

2. Can also cook good food.

3. Looks after kids and you.

4.. Very respectful

5. Most times well endowed.

6. Very thrifty

7. Always has one brother or sister in europe to bail you out in hard times.

8. Does not leave you even if you are semi-dead, quarter dead or dead.

9. If she makes more money than you, or you make less her, she remains loyal but after building 10 houses you have no idea about..

Minus

1. May have signed your death day the day you were married.

2. You have a 98.75% chance of dying before her.

3. Eventually you die and she becomes the landlady.

4. Or she may have built her own house while you guys were still staying in a room and parlour without you knowing.

5.. May have done runs before you got married.

HAUSA

Plus

1. Everything good.


Minus

1. If you are not a muslim, no chance.

2. You may eventually have to show her where the promised land is.

3. Even when you do, it must be in the dark.

EFIK WIFE

Plus

1. She will load you with so much good food that every other thing is poison

2. She will also f.... your brains out.

3. Also loyal and respectful but will also break your head if you misbehave.

4. Very clean.

Minus

1. She will f..... your brains out finally.

2. She will either be very slim, have an extremely large arse or be very short.

3. You will share shaving stick as she may have facial and chest hair.

4. Even if you wanna leave her, the f**king and feeding will keep you coming back for more.



URHOBO WIFE

Plus

1. If you like to drink, you'll never be short of a partner.

2. She does anything to take care of her kids.

3. She's used to her working while you get high at home.

4. Loyal and respectful.

5. Cannot cheat on you

6. Can also cook good food.

7. Tolerates in-laws

Minus

1. She'll short your booze ration.

2. She respects you with serious warning.

3. Very sharp and wise to take action.


Ha,ha,ha I got this through my mail and decided to share it.

is it real true or false

His mom only had one eye.He hated her... She was such an embarrassment.
She cooked for students & teachers to support the family.
There was this one day during elementary school where his
mom came to say hello to him.He was so embarrassed.
How could she do this to him?
He ignored her,threw her a hateful look and ran out.
The next day at school one of his classmates said, 'EEEE,
your mom only has one eye!'
He wanted to bury himself.He also wanted his mom to just disappear.

He confronted her that day and said,'If you're only going to make me a laughing stock, why don't you just die?' His mom did not respond...
He didn't even stop to think for a second about what he had said, because
He was full of anger.He was oblivious to her feelings.
He wanted her out of that house,and have nothing to do with her.
So he studied real hard and got a chance to go abroad to study.
Then,he got married.He bought a house of his own.
He had kids of his own.
He was happy with his life, his kids and the comforts,
Then one day,his mother came to visit him.She hadn't seen him in years
and she had not even met her grandchildren.
When she stood by the door,his children laughed at her,and he yelled at her for coming over uninvited.
He screamed at her, 'How dare you come to my house and scare my children!'

GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!'

And to this,his mother quietly answered,'Oh, I'm so sorry. I might have come to the wrong address,' and she disappeared out of sight..
One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to his house.
So he lied to his wife that he was going on a business trip. After the reunion,he went to their old shack just out of curiosity.

His neighbours said that his mother had died.He did not shed a single tear.
They handed him a letter that she had wanted him to have when she had come to visit him.

'My dearest son,
I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to your house and scared your children.I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the school reunion.
But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you or maybe see You again.
I'm sorry that I was such a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up.

You see........when you were very little,you got into an accident and lost your eye.
As a mother,I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with one eye.So I gave you mine.I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me,in my place,with one of my eyes.

With all my love to you,

Your Mother.

After reading the letter like this the dude suffered heart problems and he died on the spot.......................

Wife goes to supermarket, sees man's briefs on sale. She buys a dozen of the same colour. Goes home and gives hubby.

Hubby protests, “Why buy me same colour?

People will think I do not change underwear!!

Wife asks, "Which people?"

Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well.

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;

Who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as

you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your

Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system

that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as

much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name.

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen.

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook

food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more,

and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother,

a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as

to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply

Because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise.

One, who can be late from work once in a whilewhen deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important,

relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her sometimes

and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this.......

Please appreciate "HER"


I hope you will do....

Beloved,


As the we begin another year,

Lets thank God because;

1. You can still breathe without aid or mechanical assistance.

2. You have a roof over your head and not under one of the bridges.

3. Your two legs can still carry your body wherever you want to go.

4. Your skin is not covered up by some strange skin disease.

5. Your ears are not supported with hearing aids.

6. Your sight is not impaired in any manner.

7. With barely enough meal to get by the day you are still alive and healthy.

8. With so much issues you deal with daily you can still smile and look good daily

9. Every day comes with its craziness and demands yet your sanity is intact.

10. Your hair still grows on your head and sometimes adds grey to its colour to make you unique among your peers.

11. You sleep and wake up with ease to appreciate nature in all its beauty.

12. Your digestive system functions with the ease at which it was meant without the support of a machine.

13. Your appetite is very healthy with no issues.

14. Your teeth are still able to grind meat, bones and all other chewable.

15. Sickness put you to bed but could not put you to an early grave.

16. With all your many trips from your home to office, within the country and overseas accidents was not your portion even when it did happen you came out alive.

17. So far so good no bullet has your name on it either from the Police or marauders.

18. In spite of the economic downturn you can still finance your lifestyle.

19. Despite all the challenges and disappointments you suffered you did not commit suicide.

20. Above all you are still alive and standing!!!!!!

Thank God for all these daily unequated miracles in your live and your...........


Life is a gift from God cherish it no matter the circumstance

you find yourself

Be inspired always!!!!!