August 27, 2007

Dictionary for men and women

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:40-ish - 49, Adventurous - Slept with everyone ,Athletic - No tits, Average looking -Ugly, Beautiful - Pathological liar, Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills, Emotionally secure - On medication, Feminist - Fat, Free spirit - Junkie ,Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person,Fun - Annoying,New Age - Body hair in the wrong places,Open-minded - Desperate,Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing,Passionate - Sloppy drunk,Professional - Bitch,Voluptuous - Very Fat,Large frame - Hugely Fat, Wants Soul mate - Stalker.

WOMEN'S ENGLISH 1. Yes = No,2. No = Yes,3.Maybe = No,4.We need = I want,5.I am sorry = you'll be sorry,6.We need to talk = you're in trouble,7. Sure, go ahead = you better not,8.Do what you want = you will pay for this later,9.I am not upset = of course I am upset,you moron!,10.You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH
1.I am hungry = I am hungry,2.I am sleepy = I am sleepy,3.I am tired = I am tired, 4.Nice dress = Nice cleavage! 5.I love you = let's have sex now 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex? 7.May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you,8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you,9.Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you,10.Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.11.Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

And finally..... A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

4 comments:

bighead said...

Summary of the matter:
1. No good can possibly come out of women personal ads

2. Women are vengeful

3. All men think about is sex.

Can't agree.

What about the kain research on mensuration ... such info and a little could be quite helpful in timing.

Refinedone said...

Like the new layout...

419naija said...

Interesting stuff

AIVY said...

this is very interesting... what else do men actually think about asides sex???