March 9, 2007

Wonder shall never seize to happen in this our men and women affair.My best friend called me yesterday evening that she is about to lose her marriage to a fellow married woman,what she told me somehow sounded unbelievable.She said her husband have been behaving strangely of late and she just assumed its one of his usual behaviour when he meet a new girlfriend and she knows that until the affairs fizzle out,he will just be misbehaving at home but it doesnt really bothered her again as she has made up her might that she is not going to give herself unnecessary stress and end up in Yaba but somehow the freedom got to his head this time around and he really misbehave full time.She got information that a certain married woman comes to Lagos every other weekend to meet her husband and she investigated and confimed that all those days her husband always claimed he had residential training were mearnt for her and infact they have been on it for two years before she got the hint and last friday,her husband came up with a story on how he and his M.D had to go to Ibadan for a major consultation with some people and he might not come back till following day and she just accepted his explanation as usual but the man didnt come home till Monday morning and without even calling to give one of his excuse.She thought over everything and decided to take action by calling the lady in her office that friday to warned her to stay clear of her husband and threatened to call her husband if she refused to leave her husband but the stupid lady was bold enough to tell her to do her worst and that if she satisfy her husband well,he would not be running after her(na calabar babe) and that she has no business with her and banged the phone.She said she was just getting over the insult when her phone rang and it was her husband and was just saying rubbish to her and query her audacity to have called the lady and he asked her to call her and beg her within 48 hours or pack her bag and baggages from his house.I do not know what to tell her till now than just to take it easy and lets wait till the expiration of 48hrs and see whether he meant business.My friends out there,what can she do or how do we resolve this issue without her husband sending her packing and this man is so strict with his wife that we wonder why is so possessive and jealous after twelve years of marriage but now i know he is afraid of law of karma


Anonymous said...

Men sef get wahala! Haba,women don too hear wien.Our society is plainly ridiculos,imagine the man even harrasing his wife.Hmm, but why all dis tory sef?the man has always been having girlfriends out b4,so why is the woman doing all dis braggado she should have done in the previous years to curtail his excess sexual fantasies? Is this gonna be the first woman she would catch with him?Nah, the man is used to the fact that he can always cheat and go scot free,the woman sef too slow.Hope one day the man wont bring an ashewo home and ask ur friend to cook for them.
Lastly, hope your friend too is not always hiding her toto/kongo everynite,cos the guy is behaving sex starved, she dey satisfy am?.On the lighter side,why be say na you people dey run to when dey get marital kata-kata, abi dem no know say you sef dey get ur own lil wahala with Oga? lollllll

Ubong Da said...

The man is bluffing o jare. How can he replace his chasis wife (at least she was when they married) with tokunboh. Most younger men (under 45) these days don't do that. How old are the couple?

Your friend also needs to spice things up at home. Try new exotic shagging moves etc. Make the home peaceful, quarell and nagging free otherwise a man would find a more serene environment outside even if it is temporary.

Waffarian said...

Naija women! so upon all that, she still wan stay? na wah oh! hahahahahahahah, make una no kill me for this blogville!

Refinedone said...

...She should not have called the other woman... the only person she has beef with is her own husband.

If she wants to stay.. that should be her decision( for what ever reason) But for the husband to kick her out of her own home... He will have to do it African sytle...Let him call the family and tell THEM all his reason...

She should sit-put in her home! if he wants to leave that would be his choice.

DeChief said...

Is this even true?
To me, this is not about being an African man or woman - just a plain selfish and evil human being.

She should get the other lady's husband address and move her things by courier ahead to his house.

If her husband wants a new wife, perhaps she can get a new and improved husband as part of the deal.

I still think all this is better than a divorce (but it is really nothing but polygamy in borrowed robes).

Anonymous said...

No matter how we look at the issue,its still their world and its just prayer she need.If he sends her packing,what will she gain,its better to just handle the issue with wisdom.Our men will ontinue to cheat on us whether we like it or not but she has to be strong and God will see her through.Leave the woman alone to her GOd and if it take begging her to have peace in her home-why not

Waffarian said...

begging? hahhahahahahahahhahahah

Ubong Da said...

Have u noticed the two school of thoughts on this.

The naija based women feel she should persevere and do all that is necessary to stay put in her matrimonial home while those based in obodo oyibo say she should pack it up and leave.

I guess responses are influenced by the environment we live in abi?

Mind u if she packs it up and leaves she gets no assets from the man, nor does she get any monthly maintenance allowee.

Even if she is working we all know that most women spend more than they earn on average.

sherri said...

the tory get k leg!
she had no biz with the calabar babe in the 1st place.she needs to decide what she wants,it's obvious she 's not happy playing charade,i hope she can at the very least maintain some dignity and refuse to apologise to the calabar babe and let her romeo know she won't stand for that crap.if she knows he's bold enough to throw her out, she needs to prepare herself for that. she should bear in mind that she has condoned his behaviour from the start...(haba)
i agree with waffarian, (paraphrase) "no amount of financial or social security is worth your sanity "
if she thinks she can't survive on her own, what if he dies? life goes on and on...(man should not be her provider, God is the Provider)
all the best to her.


Waffarian said...

Ubong, thats not really how it is. I also believe in strongly in the institution of marraige, that is why I always advice my friends to take their time, do it for the right reasons and not bow to the pressure of society, so as to avoid future bullshit. I truly believe in love and I come from a very close family. My parents were married for more that 30 years before my father passed away. He died in her arms, so please, believe me when I say, I know what love and perseverance in a marraige is. My decisions are not at all influenced by my environment, rather, by the values and principles I have been taught as a child and which I have carried with me through to adulthood. My father showed me what being a husband and father was. He was SOLELY dedicated to his family. If my parents argued, we never saw it cos they did it behind closed doors. He cooked, cleaned and helped all of us at home. The last advice he gave me before he passed on was NEVER TO ACCEPT ANYTHING LESS THAN WHAT I DESERVED. To hold on to the values and priciples i was brought up with. Never to accept a cheating husband, never to accept violence in my home, to work hard, never to become a second class citizen, and the day my husband cheats on me, I should leave cos once a cheater, always a cheater. I will not say anymore, but Ubong, you are totally wrong, my decisions have been mostly influenced by my father, a true Nigerian.

Refinedone said...

Correction o! I am the UK... so you point? @ Ubong da

Waffarian said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Christian Writer said...


Anonymous said...

poverty is a B*TCH! if she had resources, she would not be put in the humiliating position of having to beg her philandering husband to take her back.
this blog has been an eyeopener. i am even more convicted to pick well. the signs are always there... although its easy to let the pressure to marry clowd our vision.