And the fight started!!!!!

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said,'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds.'
I bought her a set of bathroom scales.

And then the fight started...

----- --------- --------- --------- ---------

When I got home last night,my wife demanded that I take her some place
expensive... so,I took her to a petrol station.

And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

After retiring through redundancy, I went to the Pension office to apply for my benefit. The woman behind the counter asked me
for my driver's licence to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and
realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very
sorry,but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said,'Unbutton your shirt'.So I opened my shirt revealing
my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof
enough for me' and she processed my application.

When I got home,I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
pension office.She said,
'You should have dropped your pants.You might have got
disability benefit, too.'

And then the fight started...

--------- --------- --------- --------- ------------ --------- ---

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago,and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating
that long?'

And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
"Nah", I said, "she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

A woman is standing nude,looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy
with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old,
fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....

------------ --------- --------- --------- -- --------- ---------


A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3
o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman,
bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy crap. That
must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window.
He smashed himself on the ground, ran through
a thorn bush and to his car
as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at
the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'

And then the fight started.....

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- - --------- ---------

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed
the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to
the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on

the radio, and discovered that the
weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly
undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now
with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is
terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years
replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is
out fishing in that?'

And then the fight started ...

------------ --------- --------- ------------ -------- --------- ----

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere
I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How
about the
kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started....

------------ ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -- ---------

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in
bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she
answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look
at me
this time, simply saying "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like
to phone a
friend."

And that's when the fight started....