May 26, 2008
Tired
Its not easy to be a working mother o,the stress can be killing and you are expected to be perfect.I beg,body dey tell.Iam so tired to the extent that writting this two lines becomes a problem.Am i getting old?no way,at just about 40 when some of my mate are just about to marry and some are just starting baby business,i no go take,up i start from my start to manage drive home-Lagos na wa o,i swear(who remember the book).
May 15, 2008
Before and After Marriage !!!!!!!
Before marriage.....
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!
After marriage....
Simply read from bottom to the top.
Religious bras - for ladies ONLY
Please don't send your hussies shopping bra for u? He may end up picking A 'H'.
Have a good laugh! I just did!!
What Religion is Your Bra?
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy 's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. "
" What type of bra?"
asked the clerk.
" Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"
" Look around,"
said the saleslady,
as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.
!
"Actually,
even with all of this variety,
there are really only
four types of bras to choose from ."
Relieved, the man asked
about the types.
The saleslady replied:
"There are the Catholic,
the Salvation Army,
the Presbyterian,
and the Baptist types.
Which one would you prefer?"
Now totally befuddled,
the man asked about
the differences between them.
The Saleslady responded,
"It is all really quite simple. ...
The Catholic type
supports the masses;
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright; and
The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills."
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?
If you have wondered why,
but couldn't figure out
what the letters stood for,
it is about time
you became informed!
(A} Almost Boobs...
{B} Barely there...
{C} Can't Complain!...
{D} Dang!...
{DD} Double dang!...
{E} Enormous!...
{F} Fake...
{G} Get a Reduction...
{H} Help me, I've fallen
and I can't get up!...
Have a good laugh! I just did!!
What Religion is Your Bra?
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy 's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. "
" What type of bra?"
asked the clerk.
" Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"
" Look around,"
said the saleslady,
as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.
!
"Actually,
even with all of this variety,
there are really only
four types of bras to choose from ."
Relieved, the man asked
about the types.
The saleslady replied:
"There are the Catholic,
the Salvation Army,
the Presbyterian,
and the Baptist types.
Which one would you prefer?"
Now totally befuddled,
the man asked about
the differences between them.
The Saleslady responded,
"It is all really quite simple. ...
The Catholic type
supports the masses;
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright; and
The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills."
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?
If you have wondered why,
but couldn't figure out
what the letters stood for,
it is about time
you became informed!
(A} Almost Boobs...
{B} Barely there...
{C} Can't Complain!...
{D} Dang!...
{DD} Double dang!...
{E} Enormous!...
{F} Fake...
{G} Get a Reduction...
{H} Help me, I've fallen
and I can't get up!...
May 12, 2008
Ten guys women should run from
Joe No-Show
You meet in a city where neither of you lives, at a convention or a wedding. The calls and e-mails are making the phone lines sweat; two months later, he's begging you to visit.
You tell the woman next to you on the plane that, after years of searching, you think you've met The One, and the two of you giggle with anticipation all the way to baggage claim.
Thirty minutes later, when the carousel stops going around, she looks at you with deep pity and asks if she can give you a ride somewhere. That's the moment to go straight back to the ticket counter.
Mr. Jealousy
At first, he'll get a little short with a waiter who flirts with you. Then he'll be exasperated by how long you and the postmaster discuss the rising price of stamps. When he points out that you and your brother hug too long to be appropriate or that your gynecologist is a lesbian and obviously has the hots for you, it's time to give him his walking papers.
However flattering his jealousies may seem in the first five minutes of your relationship, they'll get old and confining more quickly than you can imagine, and when you do finally break up with him, he will hang the scarves you left behind on your trees like nooses and follow you and the next man you date all over town.
The Bully
This is the man who sits you down, grabs your arm, pulls your hair, or pokes your chest. While most of us know better than to let ourselves get socked in the mouth the way Ralph Kramden was always threatening to do to Alice (but even then never following through), there's a whole universe of more "minor" infractions in the violence department that should disqualify your new beau instantaneously (but all too often does not).
The Two-Timer
For the first time since you've been dating, he's too sick to make a date. You try to ignore the fact that it happens to be your birthday, and you assemble the ingredients for your famous chicken soup. You drop it off inside his door.
Two days later, he's still sick, but you've been invited over. You ask if you can heat up some soup for him, and he says, in a small, congested voice, "That would be wonderful." You pour the soup from the Tupperware into the pot, and you see that there are mushrooms in it. Your famous chicken soup doesn't contain mushrooms. Conclude that this man has another source of soup and will continue to cheat on you for as long as you give him the chance.
The "Liberated" Man
I used to have a friend who said, "I seem to have a very liberating effect on whatever man I'm dating. We go on three dates, and the next thing I know he's moved in with me, he's quit his job, and his car is up on blocks in my yard."
Certain men are more prone to this type of liberation than others, I have found: Carpenters, river guides, and flamenco guitarists all fall into the category of men who are perfectly willing to hand themselves over to the care of a good woman, as well as visual artists, stage performers, and racers (ski, bike, boat) of all kinds.
The Betrayed
I seem to have dated an inordinate number of men who have just been left by a woman for a woman. In general, these men are angry beyond all reason, no matter to what lengths they may go to disguise it, and if you date one, be ready to give up all your girlfriends, or you will be accused of being a lesbian, too.
The Narcissist
He doesn't like your dog? Do we even need to talk about this one? Put it at the top of the category that includes he won't make eye contact with your kid, he doesn't want to meet your sister, and he whines the first time you make plans with your girlfriend.
A man threatened by the love you have for the dog you sleep with is going to be threatened by more things than you can name. Dating him is inviting the type of conflict into your life that will make you tired before you even get up in the morning.
Mr. Resentment
Pay close attention to how he handles your accomplishments. If you get a promotion with a raise and he breaks it down to show you how it really only amounts to six dollars a day after taxes, that's the first strike. When he uses any expression like "your little project," count that as two.
Just because men are having a hard time adjusting to the idea that women are capable breadwinners doesn't mean you have to martyr yourself into helping them make the transition. There are men out there who are more than happy to bask in the glow their women cast and to consider your talents a positive reflection on them.
The Virtual Lover
What a relief it is when a man doesn't try to force you into bed on the first date. How charmed you are when, on the third date, he says he wants to wait until "you both can't stand it anymore." How sympathetic you become when, on the sixth date, he tells you how badly he was hurt by your predecessor. How confused you are six months later when you've realized his pager goes off every time you get naked, but he's still sending you roses and talking teddy bears.
A surprising number of great romancers out there never get around to having sex. To the date-weary woman, this can seem like not the worst combination, but beware. Eventually he will blame his problems on the smell of your breath or the size of your thighs.
The Guy Who Had the Happiest Childhood This Side of the Beav
His mother was perfect; his father never smoked or drank or cheated. He hates the way his friends blame their parents for everything, when he and his seven brothers and sisters had love pouring down on them from the moment they woke in the morning until they went to bed.
However refreshing this might sound the first time you hear it,listen carefully for a voice that is trying to convince itself,listen for the creak and crack of a personal mythology in the throes of shattering.When it comes crashing to the ground, it's going to make a very big noise, and most likely your relationship will come crashing down with it.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/02/25/O.bad.men/index.html#
You meet in a city where neither of you lives, at a convention or a wedding. The calls and e-mails are making the phone lines sweat; two months later, he's begging you to visit.
You tell the woman next to you on the plane that, after years of searching, you think you've met The One, and the two of you giggle with anticipation all the way to baggage claim.
Thirty minutes later, when the carousel stops going around, she looks at you with deep pity and asks if she can give you a ride somewhere. That's the moment to go straight back to the ticket counter.
Mr. Jealousy
At first, he'll get a little short with a waiter who flirts with you. Then he'll be exasperated by how long you and the postmaster discuss the rising price of stamps. When he points out that you and your brother hug too long to be appropriate or that your gynecologist is a lesbian and obviously has the hots for you, it's time to give him his walking papers.
However flattering his jealousies may seem in the first five minutes of your relationship, they'll get old and confining more quickly than you can imagine, and when you do finally break up with him, he will hang the scarves you left behind on your trees like nooses and follow you and the next man you date all over town.
The Bully
This is the man who sits you down, grabs your arm, pulls your hair, or pokes your chest. While most of us know better than to let ourselves get socked in the mouth the way Ralph Kramden was always threatening to do to Alice (but even then never following through), there's a whole universe of more "minor" infractions in the violence department that should disqualify your new beau instantaneously (but all too often does not).
The Two-Timer
For the first time since you've been dating, he's too sick to make a date. You try to ignore the fact that it happens to be your birthday, and you assemble the ingredients for your famous chicken soup. You drop it off inside his door.
Two days later, he's still sick, but you've been invited over. You ask if you can heat up some soup for him, and he says, in a small, congested voice, "That would be wonderful." You pour the soup from the Tupperware into the pot, and you see that there are mushrooms in it. Your famous chicken soup doesn't contain mushrooms. Conclude that this man has another source of soup and will continue to cheat on you for as long as you give him the chance.
The "Liberated" Man
I used to have a friend who said, "I seem to have a very liberating effect on whatever man I'm dating. We go on three dates, and the next thing I know he's moved in with me, he's quit his job, and his car is up on blocks in my yard."
Certain men are more prone to this type of liberation than others, I have found: Carpenters, river guides, and flamenco guitarists all fall into the category of men who are perfectly willing to hand themselves over to the care of a good woman, as well as visual artists, stage performers, and racers (ski, bike, boat) of all kinds.
The Betrayed
I seem to have dated an inordinate number of men who have just been left by a woman for a woman. In general, these men are angry beyond all reason, no matter to what lengths they may go to disguise it, and if you date one, be ready to give up all your girlfriends, or you will be accused of being a lesbian, too.
The Narcissist
He doesn't like your dog? Do we even need to talk about this one? Put it at the top of the category that includes he won't make eye contact with your kid, he doesn't want to meet your sister, and he whines the first time you make plans with your girlfriend.
A man threatened by the love you have for the dog you sleep with is going to be threatened by more things than you can name. Dating him is inviting the type of conflict into your life that will make you tired before you even get up in the morning.
Mr. Resentment
Pay close attention to how he handles your accomplishments. If you get a promotion with a raise and he breaks it down to show you how it really only amounts to six dollars a day after taxes, that's the first strike. When he uses any expression like "your little project," count that as two.
Just because men are having a hard time adjusting to the idea that women are capable breadwinners doesn't mean you have to martyr yourself into helping them make the transition. There are men out there who are more than happy to bask in the glow their women cast and to consider your talents a positive reflection on them.
The Virtual Lover
What a relief it is when a man doesn't try to force you into bed on the first date. How charmed you are when, on the third date, he says he wants to wait until "you both can't stand it anymore." How sympathetic you become when, on the sixth date, he tells you how badly he was hurt by your predecessor. How confused you are six months later when you've realized his pager goes off every time you get naked, but he's still sending you roses and talking teddy bears.
A surprising number of great romancers out there never get around to having sex. To the date-weary woman, this can seem like not the worst combination, but beware. Eventually he will blame his problems on the smell of your breath or the size of your thighs.
The Guy Who Had the Happiest Childhood This Side of the Beav
His mother was perfect; his father never smoked or drank or cheated. He hates the way his friends blame their parents for everything, when he and his seven brothers and sisters had love pouring down on them from the moment they woke in the morning until they went to bed.
However refreshing this might sound the first time you hear it,listen carefully for a voice that is trying to convince itself,listen for the creak and crack of a personal mythology in the throes of shattering.When it comes crashing to the ground, it's going to make a very big noise, and most likely your relationship will come crashing down with it.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/02/25/O.bad.men/index.html#
May 9, 2008
What is the essence of Marriage
Marriage in this part of the world is becoming something else,i hear and see all kind of things happening in marriages and i asked myself-why do we marry? and apart from what my bible tells me and my parent happy marriage,i think iam getting confuse with the new defination of marriage.Yes,marriage is an institution which you can not graduate but keep learning new things everyday but with all these dramas here and there,i wonder if we really know the essense of marriage.A sister who have been married to a supposedly xtian brother for eight years without the fruit of womb just got to know over the weekend that her darlin husband has a three year old boy outside wedlock and he said he need her support on the matter as age is not on his side and his families are not helping matters though he will never marry the mother of his son but he need another one to wade off his family and move on happily with his family!.
I need to know the new meaning of marriage and why do we need to marry in this endtime.
May 6, 2008
Why does love fade
Studies have proven that its much easier to fall in love than to stay in love and we have to ask ourselves why.Marriage is a complex human relationship and most of us enter it with little or no preparation.We are required to demonstrate some proficiency when obtaining driver's licence but marriage licenses can be had for a signature.
While many marriages thrive and are truly happy,quite a number experience strain and one wonder where the love have gone.Perharps one or both spouses entered marriage with high expectations but lack the skills that are necessary for long-term relationship.When you first become close,you begin to have a sense of validation from eachother and you begin to see things the way your partner sees it and that feelings sometimes fades and that can take a heavy toll on the marriage but happily,many marriages do not come to that point.
What caused love to fade:
1.Disillusion-This is what not what i expected.Of course,some expectations in marriage are proper,it is appropriate to expect love,attention and support from one's mate.Yet,these wishes may go unfulfilled.
2.Incompatibility-We have nothing in common.It does not take long for married couple to discover that they are not as much alike as they seemed during courtship.Marriages often showcases that partners have managed to hide from themselves when single and as a result,some couples may conclude they are incompatible.
3.Conflict-We are always arguing.Too often in the heat of anger,complaints are expressed in a destructive manner,as an attack on the spouse character.When this happens,conversation become a battleground where viewpoints are defended with grim determination and words are weapons instead of tools of communication.
4.Apathy-We ve given up.The true opposite of love is not hate but apathy.Indeed,indifference can be every bit as destructive as hostility.Spouses become so accustomed to a loveless marriage that they give up all hope of any change.
These are just some of the factors that may contribute to a loveless marriage but dont ever give up.The fact that there are problems does not mean that the situation is hopeless.Facing the reality of marriage-that there will be challenges-can help couples put their problems in perspective and work towards solutions.Even if your marriage has deteriorated to a loveless state,it can be saved.Granted,the wounds may be deep but there is strong reason for hope.
Imagine that you are in pain and go to the doctor and you are anxious to get over the pain.Suppose that after the examination,the doctor says while your problem is not trivial but can be treated if you adhere to a reasonable program of diet and exercise,you can expect full recovery.You will undoubtedly feel greatly relieved and gladly follow his advice!Compare this scenerio to the subject at hand.
While many marriages thrive and are truly happy,quite a number experience strain and one wonder where the love have gone.Perharps one or both spouses entered marriage with high expectations but lack the skills that are necessary for long-term relationship.When you first become close,you begin to have a sense of validation from eachother and you begin to see things the way your partner sees it and that feelings sometimes fades and that can take a heavy toll on the marriage but happily,many marriages do not come to that point.
What caused love to fade:
1.Disillusion-This is what not what i expected.Of course,some expectations in marriage are proper,it is appropriate to expect love,attention and support from one's mate.Yet,these wishes may go unfulfilled.
2.Incompatibility-We have nothing in common.It does not take long for married couple to discover that they are not as much alike as they seemed during courtship.Marriages often showcases that partners have managed to hide from themselves when single and as a result,some couples may conclude they are incompatible.
3.Conflict-We are always arguing.Too often in the heat of anger,complaints are expressed in a destructive manner,as an attack on the spouse character.When this happens,conversation become a battleground where viewpoints are defended with grim determination and words are weapons instead of tools of communication.
4.Apathy-We ve given up.The true opposite of love is not hate but apathy.Indeed,indifference can be every bit as destructive as hostility.Spouses become so accustomed to a loveless marriage that they give up all hope of any change.
These are just some of the factors that may contribute to a loveless marriage but dont ever give up.The fact that there are problems does not mean that the situation is hopeless.Facing the reality of marriage-that there will be challenges-can help couples put their problems in perspective and work towards solutions.Even if your marriage has deteriorated to a loveless state,it can be saved.Granted,the wounds may be deep but there is strong reason for hope.
Imagine that you are in pain and go to the doctor and you are anxious to get over the pain.Suppose that after the examination,the doctor says while your problem is not trivial but can be treated if you adhere to a reasonable program of diet and exercise,you can expect full recovery.You will undoubtedly feel greatly relieved and gladly follow his advice!Compare this scenerio to the subject at hand.
May 2, 2008
Happy New Month
How time flies,we are already in may and before we know it,xmas is here.We must continue to thank God for his mercies.To you all my sisters and hope the brothers wouldnt get jealous and offended but i must give that preference to them,afterall,i feel them more on my blog.
Hey Beautiful Sister!THIS IS A TOAST.... 2 US
FOR THE MEN WHO HAVE US
THE LOSERS WHO HAD US....THANK YOU LORD
AND THE BLESSED PEOPLE WHO WILL MEET US!!
LOVE YOURSELF FIRST,THEN NURTURE OTHERS WITH THE OVERFLOW
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND,PEACE AND BLESSINGS
Hey Beautiful Sister!THIS IS A TOAST.... 2 US
FOR THE MEN WHO HAVE US
THE LOSERS WHO HAD US....THANK YOU LORD
AND THE BLESSED PEOPLE WHO WILL MEET US!!
LOVE YOURSELF FIRST,THEN NURTURE OTHERS WITH THE OVERFLOW
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND,PEACE AND BLESSINGS
