May 6, 2008

Why does love fade

Studies have proven that its much easier to fall in love than to stay in love and we have to ask ourselves why.Marriage is a complex human relationship and most of us enter it with little or no preparation.We are required to demonstrate some proficiency when obtaining driver's licence but marriage licenses can be had for a signature.

While many marriages thrive and are truly happy,quite a number experience strain and one wonder where the love have gone.Perharps one or both spouses entered marriage with high expectations but lack the skills that are necessary for long-term relationship.When you first become close,you begin to have a sense of validation from eachother and you begin to see things the way your partner sees it and that feelings sometimes fades and that can take a heavy toll on the marriage but happily,many marriages do not come to that point.

What caused love to fade:
1.Disillusion-This is what not what i expected.Of course,some expectations in marriage are proper,it is appropriate to expect love,attention and support from one's mate.Yet,these wishes may go unfulfilled.

2.Incompatibility-We have nothing in common.It does not take long for married couple to discover that they are not as much alike as they seemed during courtship.Marriages often showcases that partners have managed to hide from themselves when single and as a result,some couples may conclude they are incompatible.

3.Conflict-We are always arguing.Too often in the heat of anger,complaints are expressed in a destructive manner,as an attack on the spouse character.When this happens,conversation become a battleground where viewpoints are defended with grim determination and words are weapons instead of tools of communication.

4.Apathy-We ve given up.The true opposite of love is not hate but apathy.Indeed,indifference can be every bit as destructive as hostility.Spouses become so accustomed to a loveless marriage that they give up all hope of any change.

These are just some of the factors that may contribute to a loveless marriage but dont ever give up.The fact that there are problems does not mean that the situation is hopeless.Facing the reality of marriage-that there will be challenges-can help couples put their problems in perspective and work towards solutions.Even if your marriage has deteriorated to a loveless state,it can be saved.Granted,the wounds may be deep but there is strong reason for hope.

Imagine that you are in pain and go to the doctor and you are anxious to get over the pain.Suppose that after the examination,the doctor says while your problem is not trivial but can be treated if you adhere to a reasonable program of diet and exercise,you can expect full recovery.You will undoubtedly feel greatly relieved and gladly follow his advice!Compare this scenerio to the subject at hand.


Refinedone said...

Greetings! Just stopped by to say Hi! ...alot to catch up with here :)

Simi Speaks said...

brilliantly said! luv it.

Toluwa Lase said...

Am not married and i think i already know that love does fade after a while, and this scares me. I truly am scaredof committing to someone if he might one day begin to irritate me.