October 29, 2007

This Life na wa o

Life is full of so much drama and if you think,you ve seen and heard it all,you are in for a joke.Life is a theatre on it own and as the day break,so also,events unfold.My best friend was in my house yesterday and was surprise to see her as we hardly see but we keep in touch over the phone but for her to come to my house all the way from Agbara,somehing must be pursuing something.After all our gists and agbroko,she just said babe,we need to talk seriously and i was like what could make her so serious like that-pregnant again or what?.She started with how her sister who has been married for six years is yet to have an issue and we ve all been praying for her and not knowing that the issue is a complex one and that her sister was in her place last weekend crying and narracted how she knew all along that the husband is a sickler and stood by him without telling her own people since they are believer and their church have been wonderful but sometime earlier in the year,they discovered that his kini has no egg and can not father a child and it should have been dectected when he was a baby and corrected and since then,things have been somehow.Eventually,they come to term with the situation and took solace in the bible and believing in his faithfulness to his followers and at a point she even suggected adoption which the husband didnt want to hear about(African man)but she just notice that for about a months now,her husband will always get a reason to go office overnight saying factory machines have problems(he is an Engineer)but she never suspected anything but two weeks ago,his cousin came from Ibadan to spend his vacation and the husband was just overbusy in office that he was practically sleeping there but resting at home during the day and one of those days,his cousin made an attempt on her twice and she told her husband but he just dismissed the issue that she probaly overacted but the third time he tried it,she shouted and woke their neighbour up and when her oga came the following morning,he was just annoyed that she could let neighbours know what goes on in their house and nothing about the incident and that she better see the cousin the way she sees him or else.My friend is the first born and doesnt want to involve her aged mother and her faith doesnt take the rubbish and to crown it,he refuse to pick her calls and told the wif,he doesnt want anybody in his house-how can she resolve the issue

53 comments:

Refinedone said...

the more i hear all this fantastic stroies...i real wonder how true they are ...but like you said truth is stranger than fiction...i realy need to understand, is she saying that the husband is in support of his cousin's advances(let me be real disrespectful,sexual harassment and violation) to her?
Is it till she is raped, then will he take notice. she should let someone other than you know? This is the age of technology... does she not have a camera phone and rec/film his harassment to her...show that to the hubby if he is that slow and at least have evidence to protect herself...

Sherri said...

na wah oh!
he's obviously looking for his cousin to help father a child!
she needs to stop the charade and let him know she's on to him..
virology has advanced to the extent that they can give him meds to produce viable sperm and also harvest at the source if he's not able to ejaculate/land viable ones.

if he's not willing she better think hard and quick

innergrabis said...

This puts a new twist on keeping it in the family. He wants her to commit adultery to hide his "shame". Haba, there are lots of options other than to expose her to STDs.If his sperm is not viable at all, if they have money she can go to another country and get "clean" sperm from a black donor.I know there is at least one hospital in Naija that does IVF, and cousin can provide his sperm but personally i prefer an anonymous donor b4 cousin will claim his child tomorrow. I do not know if we have laws that address such issues. Abeg make ignorance no kill person. Tell your friend's sister that there are other options. If push comes to shove and they cannot afford it, they should have him screened for all the STD's and non STD's you can think of,he should be provided with some porn,sperm in a sterile cup and she can try to use a turkey baster. I am just trying to avoid "special cousin" from climbing her, cos from the gist I do not see her leaving her hubby.And who says she will get pregnant in one go?

Nijawife said...

Refinedone,i think their plan is for the cousin to assist,so that it can still be their blood not from unknown source-imagine that,women dey see o

Waffarian said...

For the cousin to assist? heheheheheh make una no kill me oh!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

na wa o,....why cant the husband discuss this his cousin's involvement with the wife..?it goes to show he doesnt value the wife's feelings and opinion.
if they hv faith & funds enough,i will suggest getting invitro fertilisation abroad,i think it is about $100k in yankee.

Bola said...

Guess she has to bear it all,what God has joined together,let no one put asunder.
The man is not a christian,if he is,he will not put the wife through such an ordeal,it is indeed terrible and uncalled for.How is the wife sure that he never knew this all along and pretended he was ignorant of the cause of their childlessness.The cousin is a big FOOL,a he-goat who's been looking for such an opportunity to sleep with his cousin's wife,she is more or less his cousin also.
na wa sha o,things dey happen for this planet earth.

Refinedone said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Refinedone said...

..even more fantastic!!!
He does not love talkless of care about his wife...

Truly what does she do in this kind of matter...

Bubbles said...

That's sad. I think the guy should not be so closed minded about adoption. There are so many beautiful children out there that need a home. I understand the desire for people to have biological kids, so there are so many routes they can take to that, if they have the money. Oh, the things we do for love.

LASGIDI/ NY said...

Ok let look at this in the real sense of it , he is a naija man and impotency makes him less of a man in our society, therefore he has to find a solution for this problem, adoption is not an option becos then the whole world knows the kid isn't his, we watch this things happen in naija movies now haba, so he needs a child and preferably his own blood or at least close to , so what does he do? he calls his cousin , fine, no probs, his cuz can do the deed and all will be well, but erhhhhhh one problem he didn't discuss it with his wife, i believe that the same wife that has been covering his shame would have done it if only he discussed it with her, pls lets not trun a blind eye to it , lot of people do this kin undergee. At least he should have told her, if he wanted somethin like, that my own philosophy is let me know, if it is bonnie and clyde let it be bonie and clyde, don't make me an accessory by circumstance, let me be a willing party to the crime , so we can both dance to the tune together.

Nijawife said...

Lasgidi,thats quite funny but you are been realistic but me i no like that kind arrangement,its better to adopt than face ugly scene in the future.

Anonymous said...

If the woman just allowed the cousin to sleep with her without making a fuss about it, the husband will then get suspiscious about her and wonder if she was so willing, who else will she allow to sleep with her?

If she does not allow the cousin to sleep with her she will be said to be an enemy of progress.

Anyhow, if she sleeps with the cousin and gets pregnant, she will never have respect in that house and family and the matter will never die down. It will always find a way of coming up.

It is a no-win situation for the woman any way you look at it.

Women of Nigeria, please stop trying to kill yourselves, you cannot marry someone that does not AGREE with you, that is not going in the SAME direction with you. You will always LOSE. This husband and his wife and not on the same page, is that a MARRIAGE?

Married Naija Wife

innergrabis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
innergrabis said...

@ Lasgidi, sorry for husband now, he is sterile, not impotent.

I have many issues with this matter on sooo many levels.
1. She married someone who's genes are not the "best" unless if she is AA.
2. I know i suggested this before, but IVF is not moi-moi money wise and the physical toll on her with/without complications. She may or may not "take" on the first, second or third try. (Her chances are quite good if she has no infertility issues herself.
3. Her husband wanted his cousin to "rape" her. What if she does not get pregnant in one instant, what happens, does she have to start going on "dates" with her in-law?
4. Was she even ovulating when cousin wanted to fertilize her?
5. Okay, she gets pregnant, the day husband is tired of her and another woman has a "miracle", and husband wants to further hide his ‘shame’, he can accuse her of infidelity to make room for his “miracle” mistress. I have a HUGE suspicion that husband is the kind of man that will rather believe in a “miracle” and actually turn around and accuse her of tying up his manhood with her witchcraft. (Damn you Nollywood) Who will believe her story? Because for her husband to pull this kind of Jackie Chan drive-by on her, he really is "special".

I hope this is some kind of movie script turned into a what if story, cos your friend's sister is a little bit "special" herself.

Nijawife said...

Women do all kind to proctect their love and iam sure you are not an exception.We overproctect even to our own detriment,we always belief love conquer all.

Refinedone said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Refinedone said...

@ Nijawife-Love does conquer all...but did not say "have no self worth and allow yourself to be disrespected or dishonoured by others"

With her actions so far, she has told her husband that she is not worthy to be respected but treated like property that should be passed from one to another...That is not Love.
It is her choice how she wants to live and be treated in her marriage, but to call that Love is highly questionable (IMO)

CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...

Does she have a stick in the house?
She has to use it

Calabar Gal said...

There is IVF which they can both go through together. He has probably asked his cousin to help him out and she needs to discuss this with him.

t said...

lol. my first reaction.
second reaction: lol.

Zoe- Nawah O said...

Nah wah o........until death do us path, is that not we pledge before God and man. Unfortunately, your sister friend got husband with no self respect and too much pride. Dark deeds never come out right, what is done in darkness will come to light. unhappiness is inevitable. Never do what is permissibly but wrong. If this is your portion, and your husband is not willing to do things the right way leave him in the hands of God. He not blind or hearing-impaired. I sorry for the Wahala. Easier said than done I know. But dark deeds always come out wrong. How ya think Nija movies so popular.

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