FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: is the reason you have no food.
FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr / Mrs
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM
FAKE FRIENDS: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong
REAL FRIENDS: Would sit next to you saying 'Dawg ... we screwed up... but that was fun!'
FAKE FRIENDS: never seen you cry
REAL FRIENDS: cry with you
FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back
REAL FRIENDS: keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours
FAKE FRIENDS: know a few things about you
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you
FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you
FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say 'I'M HOME!'
FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life
FAKE FRIENDS: will talk bad to the person who talks bad about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock the person out that talked bad about you
May 22, 2009
May 20, 2009
Internal Home Memo - Cost Management
FROM: FATHER
TO: ALL DEPENDANTS & RELATIVES
CC: MOTHER
DATE: MAY 20, 2009
SUBJECT: FINANCIAL MELTDOWN/COST CUTTING MEASURES FOR YOUR URGENT ATTENTION
Due to the current economic situation,all domestic rules and regulations
have been revised as below and under no circumstance is any violation going
to be accepted.
1.The Kitchen and all pantries are declared Restricted Zones. Entry
and/or passage shall require express permission from myself upon submission of written request.
2.Breakfast is banned.This matter cannot be discussed!
3.Such food items as rice,chicken,butter,jam,eggs,bread and milk are
restricted.Anyone intending to eat any of such foodstuffs must write to
me in triplicate,with three days notice, giving justifications backed by
a qualified dietician report as supportive documentation.
4.Bathing in the morning is limited to 5 liters of water per day per
person while bathing in the evening is banned unless there are medical
reasons.
5.All security lights should be removed with immediate effect. All
dependants shall abide by an all-night guard-duty roster I shall make
available shortly.
6.No dependant shall entertain friends indoors,far less attempt to
offer food,drinks or even music.Those who want their guests to listen
to music shall sing for them.
7.No one is allowed to talk to officials from NEPA,police or Court
Bailiffs;doing so shall carry an instantaneous penalty of ejection from
the House.
8.Anybody who breaks a glass,furniture or any other property in The
House,shall immediately have to seek temporary employment
somewhere to earn money to replace such broken item(s).
9.All visitors intending to spend a night/week or more shall
apply in triplicate and give two months notice,with an endorsement from
their Village Headman or Church Priest,giving convincing
reasons why they can't stay at their homes.Failure to do this shall result
in their being turned away,at the gate,upon arrival
THESE RULES ARE BINDING AND NOT SUBJECT TO ANY DISCUSSION WHATSOEVER!!!
Signed:
DAD
Chairman of Home Affairs
TO: ALL DEPENDANTS & RELATIVES
CC: MOTHER
DATE: MAY 20, 2009
SUBJECT: FINANCIAL MELTDOWN/COST CUTTING MEASURES FOR YOUR URGENT ATTENTION
Due to the current economic situation,all domestic rules and regulations
have been revised as below and under no circumstance is any violation going
to be accepted.
1.The Kitchen and all pantries are declared Restricted Zones. Entry
and/or passage shall require express permission from myself upon submission of written request.
2.Breakfast is banned.This matter cannot be discussed!
3.Such food items as rice,chicken,butter,jam,eggs,bread and milk are
restricted.Anyone intending to eat any of such foodstuffs must write to
me in triplicate,with three days notice, giving justifications backed by
a qualified dietician report as supportive documentation.
4.Bathing in the morning is limited to 5 liters of water per day per
person while bathing in the evening is banned unless there are medical
reasons.
5.All security lights should be removed with immediate effect. All
dependants shall abide by an all-night guard-duty roster I shall make
available shortly.
6.No dependant shall entertain friends indoors,far less attempt to
offer food,drinks or even music.Those who want their guests to listen
to music shall sing for them.
7.No one is allowed to talk to officials from NEPA,police or Court
Bailiffs;doing so shall carry an instantaneous penalty of ejection from
the House.
8.Anybody who breaks a glass,furniture or any other property in The
House,shall immediately have to seek temporary employment
somewhere to earn money to replace such broken item(s).
9.All visitors intending to spend a night/week or more shall
apply in triplicate and give two months notice,with an endorsement from
their Village Headman or Church Priest,giving convincing
reasons why they can't stay at their homes.Failure to do this shall result
in their being turned away,at the gate,upon arrival
THESE RULES ARE BINDING AND NOT SUBJECT TO ANY DISCUSSION WHATSOEVER!!!
Signed:
DAD
Chairman of Home Affairs
May 12, 2009
Advice for the guys
When she walks away from you mad [ Follow her ]
When she stares at your mouth [ Kiss her ]
When she pushes you or hit's you [ Grab her and dont let go ]
When she start's cussing at you [ Kiss her and tell her you love her ]
When she's quiet [ Ask her whats wrong ]
When she ignore's you [ Give her your attention ]
When she pull's away [ Pull her back ]
When you see her at her worst [ Tell her she's beautiful ]
When you see her start crying [Just hold her and dont say a word ]
When you see her walking [ Sneak up and hug her waist from behind ]
When she's scared [ Protect her ]
When she lay's her head on your shoulder [ Tilt her head up and kiss her ]
When she steal's your favorite hat [ Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]
When she tease's you [ Tease her back and make her laugh ]
When she doesnt answer for a long time [ reassure her that everything is okay ]
When she look's at you with doubt [ Back yourself up ]
When she say's that she like's you [ she really does more than you could understand ]
When she grab's at your hands [ Hold her's and play with her fingers ]
When she bump's into you [ bump into her back and make her laugh ]
When she tell's you a secret [ keep it safe and untold ]
When she looks at you in your eyes [ dont look away until she does ]
When she misses you [ she's hurting inside ]
When you break her heart [ the pain never really goes away ]
When she says its over [ she still wants you to be hers ]
- Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.
- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
- When she says she's ok don’t believe it,talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
- Tease her and let her tease you back.
- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.
- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.
- Give her the world.
- Let her wear your clothes.
- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.
- Let her know she's important.
- Kiss her in the pouring rain.
- When she runs up at you crying,the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"
When she stares at your mouth [ Kiss her ]
When she pushes you or hit's you [ Grab her and dont let go ]
When she start's cussing at you [ Kiss her and tell her you love her ]
When she's quiet [ Ask her whats wrong ]
When she ignore's you [ Give her your attention ]
When she pull's away [ Pull her back ]
When you see her at her worst [ Tell her she's beautiful ]
When you see her start crying [Just hold her and dont say a word ]
When you see her walking [ Sneak up and hug her waist from behind ]
When she's scared [ Protect her ]
When she lay's her head on your shoulder [ Tilt her head up and kiss her ]
When she steal's your favorite hat [ Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]
When she tease's you [ Tease her back and make her laugh ]
When she doesnt answer for a long time [ reassure her that everything is okay ]
When she look's at you with doubt [ Back yourself up ]
When she say's that she like's you [ she really does more than you could understand ]
When she grab's at your hands [ Hold her's and play with her fingers ]
When she bump's into you [ bump into her back and make her laugh ]
When she tell's you a secret [ keep it safe and untold ]
When she looks at you in your eyes [ dont look away until she does ]
When she misses you [ she's hurting inside ]
When you break her heart [ the pain never really goes away ]
When she says its over [ she still wants you to be hers ]
- Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.
- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
- When she says she's ok don’t believe it,talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
- Tease her and let her tease you back.
- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.
- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.
- Give her the world.
- Let her wear your clothes.
- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.
- Let her know she's important.
- Kiss her in the pouring rain.
- When she runs up at you crying,the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"
May 8, 2009
F A M I L Y
He ran into a stranger as he passed by,
'Oh excuse me please' was his reply.
He said, 'Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you.'
They were very polite, the stranger and the man.
They went their way and said goodbye.
But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
His son stood beside him very still.
When he turned, he nearly knocked him down.
'Move out of the way,' he said with a frown.
His son walked away, his little heart broken.
He didn't realize how harshly he had spoken.
While he lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to him and said,
'While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.'
By this time, he felt very small,
And now his tears began to fall.
He quietly went and knelt by his bed;
'Wake up, little one, wake up,' he said.
'Are these the flowers you picked for me?'
He smiled, 'I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue.'
I said, 'Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way.'
He said, 'Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway.'
I said, 'Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue.'
FAMILY
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company
that we are working for could easily replace us in
a matter of days.
But the family we left behind will feel the loss
for the rest of their lives.
And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more
into work than into our own family,
an unwise investment indeed,
don't you think?
So what is behind the story?
Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU
'Oh excuse me please' was his reply.
He said, 'Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you.'
They were very polite, the stranger and the man.
They went their way and said goodbye.
But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
His son stood beside him very still.
When he turned, he nearly knocked him down.
'Move out of the way,' he said with a frown.
His son walked away, his little heart broken.
He didn't realize how harshly he had spoken.
While he lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to him and said,
'While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.'
By this time, he felt very small,
And now his tears began to fall.
He quietly went and knelt by his bed;
'Wake up, little one, wake up,' he said.
'Are these the flowers you picked for me?'
He smiled, 'I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue.'
I said, 'Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way.'
He said, 'Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway.'
I said, 'Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue.'
FAMILY
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company
that we are working for could easily replace us in
a matter of days.
But the family we left behind will feel the loss
for the rest of their lives.
And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more
into work than into our own family,
an unwise investment indeed,
don't you think?
So what is behind the story?
Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU
