ONCE UPON A TIME...................

Once upon a time, everyone in particular village decided to pray for rain. When all the villagers gathered for the prayers, only one boy came out with an umbrella. THAT’S FAITH.

When you throw a baby in the air, he laughs because he knows you will catch him, THAT’S TRUST.

Every night we go to bed, we have no assurance to wake up alive the next morning, but we still have plans for tomorrow. THAT’S HOPE.

In this glorious season, may GOD increase your faith, trust and hope in him. Happy new year to you all.

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breasts, 24" stomach and 34" hips.

When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."

Another December to Remember...

The worst moment for an atheist is when he feels grateful and has no one to thank. - Wendy Ward

We are so grateful to God this period...

Not that there were no challenges in the year but that we are able to withstand the same that swept others under.

Not that we are already where we are going but that we are not where we used to be.

Not that we didn’t lose anything in the course of the year, but that we didn’t lose everything.

Not that we know what tomorrow will be but that we know He who holds tomorrow.

Not that we don’t have needs but that we are even in our right minds to know what we need.

Not that we already have who to marry but that we are even marriageable.

Not that we are employers but that we are employable.

Not that we have cars but that our legs have not been amputated.

Not that we have the latest designer clothes, but that we know how to cover ourselves.

Not that i know how to celebrate Christmas but that i know without you there wouldn’t have been any Christmas.

Lots of love at Christmas.

Why men shouldn't write advice columns

Dear John,

I hope you can help me.The other day,i set off for work,leaving my husband in the house watching TV.My car stalled,and then it broke down about a mile down the road,and i had to walk back to get my husband's help.When i got home,i couldnt believe my eyes.He was in our bedroom with the neighbour's daughter!

Iam 32,my husband is 34 and the neighbour's daughter is 19.We have been married for 10 years.When i confronted him,he broke down and admitted they had been having an affair for the past six months.He He wont go to counselling,and I'm afraid Iam a wreck and need advice urgently.Can you please help?
Sincerely,Shella


Dear Shella,
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine.Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line.If it is clear,check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires.If none of these approaches solves the problem,it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty,causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.
I hope this helps,
John