In a second grade class, a little girl asks, 'Teacher, can my Mommy gets pregnant?'
'How old is your mother, dear?' Asks the teacher.
'Forty,' She replies.
'Yes, dear, your mother could get pregnant.'
The little girl then asks, 'Can my big sister get pregnant?'
'Well, dear, how old is your sister?'
The little girl answers, 'Nineteen.'
'Oh yes, dear, your sister certainly could get pregnant.'
The little girl then asks; 'Can I get pregnant?'
'How old are you, dear?'
The little girl answers,' I'm five years old.'
'No, dear, you can't get pregnant...'
Then, the little boy behind the little girl gives her a poke and says, 'See, I told you we had nothing to worry about!'
The teacher fainted!!!
October 31, 2008
October 23, 2008
Spaghetti
For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.
One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage,he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, And write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the Child support payments to begin.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. 'Honey, 'she said, 'You received a very strange post card today.' 'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife obeyed And watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written:
'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
Three with meatballs, two without.
Send extra sauce.
One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage,he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, And write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the Child support payments to begin.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. 'Honey, 'she said, 'You received a very strange post card today.' 'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife obeyed And watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written:
'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
Three with meatballs, two without.
Send extra sauce.
October 13, 2008
What Love means to a 4-8 year old.. .
'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'Lauren - age 4
'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'Terri - age 4
'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'Mary Ann - age 4
'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologneand they go out and smell each other.'Karl - age 5
'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'Elaine-age 5
'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your Frenchfries without making them give you any of theirs.'Chrissy - age 6
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't thinkit's >gross.'Mark - age 6
'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'Tommy - age 6
'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sipbefore giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'Danny - age 7
'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'Chris - age 7
'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'Noelle - age 7
'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired ofkissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.My Mommy and Daddy are like that.. They look gross when they kiss'Emily - age 8
'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over andpaint her toe nails anymore.So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love..'Rebecca- age 8
'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'Terri - age 4
'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'Mary Ann - age 4
'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologneand they go out and smell each other.'Karl - age 5
'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'Elaine-age 5
'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your Frenchfries without making them give you any of theirs.'Chrissy - age 6
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't thinkit's >gross.'Mark - age 6
'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'Tommy - age 6
'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sipbefore giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'Danny - age 7
'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'Chris - age 7
'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'Noelle - age 7
'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired ofkissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.My Mommy and Daddy are like that.. They look gross when they kiss'Emily - age 8
'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over andpaint her toe nails anymore.So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love..'Rebecca- age 8
October 9, 2008
THE FENCE
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper,he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger,the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, 'You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger,they leave a scar just like this one.You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. But It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Remember that friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to you.'
It's National Friendship Week and am sharing this with my blogfriends to show how much I care and consider you all as my FRIENDS.
YOU ARE MY FRIENDS AND I AM HONORED!
Please forgive me if I have ever left a 'hole' in your fence through my blog.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger,the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, 'You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger,they leave a scar just like this one.You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. But It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Remember that friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to you.'
It's National Friendship Week and am sharing this with my blogfriends to show how much I care and consider you all as my FRIENDS.
YOU ARE MY FRIENDS AND I AM HONORED!
Please forgive me if I have ever left a 'hole' in your fence through my blog.
October 7, 2008
Does it really matter
In many marriages today, hidden agendas seem to be a common practice;or is it just not letting your right hand know what the left hand is doing. Nevertheless, both husband and wife should be accountable for their actions, especially when it comes to their marriage relationship, or stewardship if you will.
The Holy scriptures tell us that the married couple possesses an ownership or has a control or power over the other. Let's check it out. . .1 Corinthians 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. . . .so as you can see it is equal, (it is very important that you understand that)
Now some believe that this power is not just physical, but it also deals with honesty,respect,loyalty,trust,and most of all integrity. So wouldn't you say that what we do when no one is looking matters too? As you can see my faithful readers, all of the above characteristics are compiled into one word. . .L O V E! . . and this Love is described in the Bible as a God type love. . .meaning without conditions or secrets, or hidden agendas, or dishonesty, pretense of virtue, and etc.
Often in our relationships we say or do things that are one-sided or self centered,(if you know what I mean). Yes my friends, it does really matter!
"If you're going to play the game, you must abide by the rules" an author once wrote;and if you want a healthy and lasting relationship, you should play by "the Rule" in other words, God's rules for marriage. You see, it only takes one small turn from the rule, or one slip of the tongue, or one hidden deed, that can destroy a destiny. Think about it. Does it matter. . .of course it does! How we prioritize is just as important as what we prioritize!
Does your agenda include your partner or spouse. Will it please him or her? Will it please God? Ask yourself the question, does it really matter? Just a little food for thought!Have a wonderful day and a happy and fulfilled marriage. . .God's way!
Posted by Bishop Larry C.& Sis Brenda Scott
The Holy scriptures tell us that the married couple possesses an ownership or has a control or power over the other. Let's check it out. . .1 Corinthians 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. . . .so as you can see it is equal, (it is very important that you understand that)
Now some believe that this power is not just physical, but it also deals with honesty,respect,loyalty,trust,and most of all integrity. So wouldn't you say that what we do when no one is looking matters too? As you can see my faithful readers, all of the above characteristics are compiled into one word. . .L O V E! . . and this Love is described in the Bible as a God type love. . .meaning without conditions or secrets, or hidden agendas, or dishonesty, pretense of virtue, and etc.
Often in our relationships we say or do things that are one-sided or self centered,(if you know what I mean). Yes my friends, it does really matter!
"If you're going to play the game, you must abide by the rules" an author once wrote;and if you want a healthy and lasting relationship, you should play by "the Rule" in other words, God's rules for marriage. You see, it only takes one small turn from the rule, or one slip of the tongue, or one hidden deed, that can destroy a destiny. Think about it. Does it matter. . .of course it does! How we prioritize is just as important as what we prioritize!
Does your agenda include your partner or spouse. Will it please him or her? Will it please God? Ask yourself the question, does it really matter? Just a little food for thought!Have a wonderful day and a happy and fulfilled marriage. . .God's way!
Posted by Bishop Larry C.& Sis Brenda Scott
