FOR THOSE THAT MARRIED

For all those Married, Dating or thinking of marriage out there!!!

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and
said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know
what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,
why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the
chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't
talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what
had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory
answer, she had lost my heart to Dew. I did'nt love her anymore..I
just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She
glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten
years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her
wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had
said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of
me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a
kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several
weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something
at the table. I did'nt have supper but went straight to sleep and fell
asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did
not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want
anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She
requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a
life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a
months time and she did'nt want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to
recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of
our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going
crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd
request.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to
face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we
both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy
in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. >From the bedroom to
the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in
my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, don't tell our son about
the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the
office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I
hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realised she
was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair
was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I
wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to
me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy
was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to
carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
stronger.


She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few
dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my
dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly
it hit me, .. she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum
out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an
essential part of his life. My wife
gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my
face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last
minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through
the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and
naturally. I held her body tightly, it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held
her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I
held her tightly and said, I had'nt noticed that our life lacked
intimacy.

I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked
upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not
want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a
fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I
won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I
didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each
other any more. Now I realise that since I carried her into my home on
our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew
seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the
door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my
wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a
the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for
happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be
your spouse's friend
and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.Do have
a real happy marriage!


I decided to share this with my friends out there so that we can pick some moral in this story. Don't have to be that bad before we conduct an audit on our marriage and ask the Lord for fresh wine for today and always. Please pray for those whose relationships are going through tough times, may the Lord renew their love and send help to them where it matters.

9 words women use

1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.


Iam giving this advice to men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they hear any of those words and to all the women to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true!


PLEASE CONFIRM THE INTERPRETATIONS -ARE THEY TRUE OR FALSE? – AT LEAST TO HELP THE MEN FOLK.

Why i ignored my husband's infidelity:Wife bent on having the best of two worlds

Wonder shall never cease to happen in this our men/women relationship.I read Bunmi Sofola's(Your sincerely)above caption article in sunday vanguard and it got me worried that we women just like humiliating ourselves and still justify the action of our men.We know they think infidelity is their birth right as a man in Africa set up but that does not mean we should gladly accept it.The article was about a family who got friendly with their next door neighbour,who is a single mother due to closeness between their kids and before long,they became family friends and were free with eachother.The woman is comfortable as she is a businesswoman and always assist the family with one favour or the other and even introduced the woman of the house to side business which can fetch her extra cash apart from her salary and the family lifestyle improves.When their first daughter clocked 10,they had a party for her though they could not really afford to throw such a grand party but ms generous assisted them and somehow in the course of the party,she went to the kitchen to get some few things and saw her husband and ms goodie conversing in the corridor but did not see her and she saw her husband playfully tweaking her nipple through her dress and was shocked but left them without them noticing her.She initially thought of confronting them but an inner voice called her to order to remember all her input in their life!She reminded herself of all the good things they enjoyed from her and just asked herself:so what if my husband was screwing her and what has she done to the ones who have nothing to contribute to their life and still enjoyed her man? that it was a little price to pay for all the good things she has done for the family.Her husband is not forty yet and the woman is in her late forty,so marriage is out of it,why not overlook since its beneficial to the family?Can you imagine what a typical nijawife will take to keep a home and get little comfort.Can you do that?

Weekend delight

Vacancies exist in a reputable blue chip professional body/public unlimited company (not yet registered with the Nigerian Stock Exchange because of the nature of its operations) for people who have the requisite qualifications and disposition to serve in various capacities. The body is the Public Disorder Practitioners (PDP) with headquarters in Abuja and membership drawn from all over the country and abroad. To be eligible to apply for the advertised positions below, the applicants must either have lived in Nigeria all his life or he must be used to the Nigerian way of doing things. Ability to have your way is an advantage, but of greater advantage is being wealthy enough to have your way in the political scene. The following advertised positions are available.


1. MEMBER OF BOARD OF TRUSTEE

A member of the Board of Trustee should be a man who could be trusted with the body's secrets, and who can set his seat on fire in a cinema hall and rush out screaming with conviction "Fire! Fire!! Fire!!!" Ability to lie with a straight face and a straight gaze is expected of the man, and also an ability to administer oaths on people as he may wish to in order to protect the body's "investment". Oath administration does not refer to judiciary oaths exactly - if in doubt about the kind of oath please visit Okija Shrine in Anambra State and make inquiries. Successful candidates should be Fellows of the Public Disorder Practitioners (PDP). Fellows of either the Political Propaganda Alliance (PPA) or Association of Confusionists (AC) would be considered, if they provide evidence that they have an experience in public disorder initiation and mayhem-raising, and are willing to leave these other bodies and join the PDP.

Salary: This will be negotiated from the security votes of those you put in power. (Adedibu-theorem)

Qualification: The applicant must be someone who has rigged an election successfully before and installed a public officer in office. He should also have connections in Aso Rock and be able to have the president's ears on some matters of controversy. He should be powerful enough to confess to rigging an election, if the need arises, without being arrested by the police. He should know the Inspector-General of Police by name and also eat and dine with all the Deputy Inspector-Generals of Police and the Assistant Inspector-Generals of Police at will. People who have never been political godfathers before should not apply. Godfathers of not less than six years experience may apply with a detailed chronicle of their political godsons and how they got them elected. Membership of a secret cult will be an advantage. A healthy disrespect for the rule of law and justice will be considered an advantage, provided the said person has always been able to escape conviction. If you have ever hijacked the Independent National Electoral Commission's Direct Data Capture machines before and you were not taken to court, do state so in your curriculum vitae and this would give you a clear advantage. Finally, godfathers whose godsons, that they installed in political offices, are paying them less than ten million Naira from their security votes should not apply. However, those who earn more than ten million Naira from their godsons could gain automatic appointment into the Public Disorder Practitioners' Board of Trustee. Successful candidates would be given the honorary doctorate degree of Doctor of Public Disorder by the council of PDP (not Peoples Democratic Party, please).
2. GODFATHER

A godfather should be someone who has acquired enough wealth to live off the bounties of the land and use it to sponsor candidates and rig elections to favour them. He must have not less than twenty thugs at his beck-and-call and be able to summon them at zero notice. Ability to use the police to effect the arrest of anyone, including a governor, shall be considered of great advantage. The godfather should also be able to control the House of Assembly in case the need arises for him to impeach the governor. Having the president's ears and being able to avoid prosecution for whatever action you undertake, which may be considered criminal by right-thinking members of the society, is an added advantage. People who do not have a chieftaincy title should not apply. To be a godfather you should be able to know at least ten police officers of a rank not less than assistant commissioner of police and the top ten staff of the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) in your state and put them on your payroll. Applicants must be those who headed secret cults in tertiary institutions and could still use cults to discourage political opponents from contesting elections. If you are not a former inspector of thugs you need not apply. Ability to change the result of a primary election will give the candidate a clear advantage, please include this information, and which primary election you changed the result in your constituency in your application.

Salary: Same as above.

3. INSPECTOR OF THUGS

An inspector of thugs is someone who oversees the activities of thugs and is more or less like an inspector of police. He should be able to ensure that thugs beat up people according to contractual specifications and do not cut off the right ear when they were supposed to cut off the left. An inspector of thugs should be able to call up at least ten thugs at short notice and assign them to vital areas to discourage people from voting in an election or to force them to vote for the right candidate. Successful candidates would be given thuggery licences by the council to enable them carry on their duties without fear or favour (of the police). People with experience in using machete and guns to cut and shoot people during elections should state their years of experience and state the names of their victims. Successful candidates would be offered admission to read a postgraduate course (Master of Arts in Shooting and Swordsmanship) in the about-to-be established Otta University of Public Disorder.

Salary: Contract payment by local chapters of the Public Disorder Practitioners.


4. THUGS

This position is open only to cultists and graduates of Nigerian universities. If you have been actively involved in cults and you can run faster than Ben Johnson (with steroids) and shoot straighter than Rambo, and can carry more ballot boxes than Arnold Schwarzenegger can carry weights do please apply in person. Applicants should be skilled in bullying and intimidation and willing and ready to meet law with force and know that from the days of the formation of the Public Disorder Practitioners the political scene suffers violence and the violent takes the election by force. He must be a morbid hater of the People of Propaganda Alliance (PPA) and the Association of Confusionists (AC).
Interested applicants should forward their applications stating their ages and pictures of their working tools like guns and machetes to the National Secretary, PDP, Abuja , Nigeria .

This world is such a funny place,when you think you are the only person having a raw deal in your marriage,wait until you hear other people stories and you will quickly thank God that yours is better compare to others.I was sitting jejely in my office when this my newly found customer friend walked in and i just noticed that she wasnt herself and i wanted to be polite and you know in this era of target,you have to use all tactics to get your customer to bring more money and asked her why she was looking somehow unlike her radiant self.That simple question brought out her story on a nasty experience she is passing through.She said she suspected her husband of ten years was dating another woman and had no time for his family as he hardly stay at home and her investigation revealed that he was dating a married custom woman and they had been on it for a while and she got to know their rendevous and went there to embarrassed them thoroughly,she even went further to report the matter to the woman's husband to beg his wife to leave her husband for her but it cause a lot of problem between her and her husband's family,they even threaten to throw her out and her husband supported them,claiming she is a bad wife and what if the woman's husband send assassin on him and that he is the only surviving son of his parent and will rather leave her than to lose his life but they eventually settled it.She said last month,she got information again that they are back together and even more involved than before,so she did the same thing all over again but this time around,it boomerang.The woman's husband sent her packing and her husband brought her in and infact,they now live in the same compound and her husband is all over her as if she even be chasis.She rake and raked but to no solution and her husband position is,she caused it and must live with the consequence of her action and all his family except one or two of his uncle supported him.She just started crying and i was at loss on what to do,iam neither a counsellor nor a pastor but had to say some soothen words to her.Seriously now,i think she took it too far,her business is with her husband and not the other parties but what do you feel

Dream

I sit and dream, I dream a dream,

I dream of the future, the future of here and now,

I dream of a woman, an African woman-

Standing tall and strong,

With confidence, courage and determination,

Held together by the motherly bond of love,

She nurtures and fends for all those under her wings,

With success to her left and success to her right,

Matching her future with her own pace and rhythm,



Someone once told me that dreams do come true,

But when I wake up my dream has no reality,



Looking into the eyes of many women, I see a frame,

A frame of this woman, waiting to be unleashed,

The deeper I look, then I realise,

Shackles holding her back and wearing her down,

So what do I have now, what's left for me?

But to hold on to my dreams and be what I am,

Just a dreamer, dreaming a dream



Wake up you dreamer dreaming your dream,

Wake up and awake from your dreams.

It's one thing to dream and another to foam,

So stand strong sweet dreamer you are not alone,

I too have dreams but I fulfil them

through hard work, patience, proper preparation and a positive mind.

We all can turn our dreams into realities.



They said I wouldn't make it, I'd fall and falter

but I won't give in because I know in me I can alter,

Alter and make a better place for all humans

because I am A WOMAN,

I stand and shine, A WOMAN

with strength and empowerment- As a WOMAN

I have, I can and I will.



Many a dream have come true,

Many a woman have made it through,

With pioneers like Asha Rose Migiro, Condoleeza Rice,

Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, to name a few

Showing us that with a dream, a vision and a plan

we can turn it all into reality.



So wake up all your dreamers, dreaming your dreams,

Wake up and unfetter your dreams,

Only you are able to,

So please reach out all you dreamers,

Reach out to this anticipating world.

Have a fun-filled weekend with your love ones

Thanks God is friday,we can rest for another two days before we begin the rat race all over again,i leave my fellow women with this poem from Maya Angelou and do less of partying!

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a youth she's content to leave behind....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a feeling of control over her destiny.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without; ruining the friendship...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table... or a charming inn in the woods... when her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year

Dont say i have started with men bashing again-NO but i must share the pains of being a wife in Africa setting and what havoc our men are doing in our life.I went to a function with my hussy(sorry,someone once corrected me-husband)yesterday,his friend's wife gave birth some months ago and the wife and baby just got back from the state and they just moved to their personal house so the husband decided to do a welcome/house warming party for them.I got the hint of what the gathering was going to look like on our way to the venue,my husband was just in a funny lively mood-he kept on calling their friends to meet up there at the same time and after gisting with them,he will just say its a tripple.I didnt take all that as anything funny until we got to the venue and come and hear what guys were discussing-meen women dey see wee.I later got to know that the guy's mistress gave birth to twins a week ago and infact yesterday was the naming ceremony-imagine that and the guy and his friends were joking about it and the poor wife was smiling and dancing as if she just won a lottery and this heartless man too was dancing and gallivating about saying its a tripple.Infact,i was so disgusted with the whole set up and the other wives too pretended as if nothing amiss.These are guys that people look up to in the society as responsible and leaders in their various field but worse in their private life.Imagine the pain the woman will feel when she get to know and this is a lady that stood by her husband in thick and thin,just see the reward she is getting and when i tried to say my mind to my husband on our way home,he said what will be her problem-that is the man not taking care of her or is it a crime to have babies? afterall,he did not marry the lady and she is not going to disturb her in anyway.Education and exposure have no effect on our men,they still think like their forefather who derive joy in spreading their seed,how can a man claim he loves you and still do all that in secrecy,praying you dont get to know till jesus come.Why do men like treating us like that and i wouldnt take your usual excuse that it takes two to tango and the other woman too should have said no bcos we are married to you and you should proctect us.

Happy may day and new month

What is so sweet and dear
As a prosperous morn in May,
The confident prime of the day,
And the dauntless youth of the year,
When nothing that asks for bliss,
Asking aright, is denied,
And half of the world a bridegroom is,
And half of the world a bride?
William Watson, Ode in May, 1880.



The month of May was come, when every lusty heart beginneth to
blossom, and to bring forth fruit; for like as herbs and trees bring
forth fruit and flourish in May, in likewise every lusty heart that is
in any manner a lover, springeth and flourisheth in lusty deeds.
For it giveth unto all lovers courage, that lusty month of May.
Sir Thomas Malory, Le Morte d'Arthur